"I wonder how beautiful life could be if we know how to deal with it.."
I was not born with silver spoon in my mouth yet life can still be as fun as it is supposed to. I'm not a star that shines all the time. And i am not always in a pink of health when circumstance needs me to be one. But i learn. Learn to breathe whenever situations or tragedies took away all the oxygen that supposed to keep me breathing, that supposed to keep my blood stays in healthy red - obviously not the dark one. I saw how things change so much from time to time though i don't even know where did i get those ample time to figure them out. History taught me well on how to deal with things. It's all about DEALING. Handling with circumstance that only appears once in a blue moon seems to be so hard. Well, that's how i grow up. My parents always taught me to deal with my own problems. It's not that they don't give a damn about it, they just don't prefer to interrupt. That's how i learn. Somehow, it is a good thing - but not all the time.
Last night, i saw a dark shadow on the wall. I'm not sure who's shadow was that but i zipped my mouth and tried to hibernate myself in peace. Unfortunate me, the brain kept doing overtime work - Ouh, how i hate that! Slowly i opened my eyes, trying to find the shadow which i saw few minutes ago. It wasn't there anymore. For god sake, I don't know where it goes. I stood up and saw something in front of me. A figure. It moved the same way as i did. I went near the entity and stood up straight in front of it. It was kinda weird to see something else that looks and moves like me. Then i realize something.
THE MIRROR. Ouh, no wonder.. Argh!!
Ok Fza, no more blurry or flowery words. Just a straight forward and clear thoughts please. Truth is, i give up! No more pleasing people too much. No more sympathy without reasons. No more angel-heart-with-huge-pair-of-wings after this. I mean, that is not going to happen without reasons. And guess what? Innocent is no longer my middle name. I have no heart now - just in case if u ask me. *sigh sigh*
Hey, meet the new me!
"Hye, my name is Fza. F-Z-A. Pronounce my name as Fiza ok? Btw.. Nice to meet u.."
*the same name with different characteristics*
I don't know what's wrong with me. Don't ask.