Aku maw mencharot? So what??!!

Ok, ready..

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!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&^%$#@!!

tenkiu. :)

WARNING!

SEBELUM KORG BACA. CERITA DIBAWAH TERSANGAT LAH MENARIK UTK DIBACA NAMUN PNJG. JIKA KORG SABAR SEMASA MEMBACA, SILE HABISKN HINGGA NOKTAH TERAKHIR. THNX.. :)

JENIS ENTRY KALI NI - UMUM.

Now let's begin the story. Di suatu petang yg damai. *sgt damai hokeyh!*

Aku bkk la myspace. Tujuan? Saje maw tgk² yg baru la en? Mate nmpk kt friends request. Hurm.. Menarek. Lepas filter mane yg aku nk approve n mane yg nk reject, aku pn g la klik kt comments approval lak. Ok,hanye 2-3 je yg mcm bley di approve. Yg lain ithu spt mls pule. *miahaha.. aku delete yg len. Apekah..*. Ok²,back to the story. then aku syok² je la nk tekan mail button. *Walopon aku cume reply yg aku knal saje. Huu..*. Dah alang² bkk tu en.. T'nmpk la 1 mail ni from 1 user. Tak knal pn. B'tarikh 4 Jun 2009. Tajuk mail die 'imp0rtant...'. Aik? Ape yg important sgt en? So aku dgn yakinnye bkk mail tu. Dlm hati "eley.. Budak² nk men mail pas-pas la ni. Lantok la. Bkk je..". Then bile dh bukak je.. OK! Aku tergamam. Die tulis:

"Syg,jom kawen nk?"

*eh.. Aku dh type slh mail ni. Kantoi². Haha!*

OI BUKAN! ithu cume rekaan semate. BUKAN ITHU. Yg ini..

"hey u...

y u amek pixx i?

pliz dlete pixx 2 k...

bc0z i ley bwt police report...

akta k0munikasi dan multimedia sbb u c0pypaste pixx i...

s0 i nk u dlete sume pixx i...

plish k...

im trying 2 help u bc0z tht i private sume pixx i yg u amek...

i m0h0n k...

dlete sume..."

OK! FINE! Sepanjang idop aku,aku lgsung xpnah nk amik pix org. So ofkoz la aku curious en? So yeah,aku g msk page die. Naseb bek page die x private. Hurm.. Bace detail die sket² smbil tersenyum² xikhlas. Then aku g tekan button pix die. Ok. *korg boley ready skg*. At the moment page pics die suma kluar, aku rse cm... Erm.. Speechless.. Why? Ok,she got some of my pictures placed there as HER PICTURE! hehehe.. *aku xikhlas ni. Wateva!*. Hurm.. Aku pk dgn speed yg paling laju. Marah? Nope! Aku just geram sgt² time tu. Fine.. Fine.. Aku just rase aku kne buat seswatu ttg ithu..

Terus ke ruangan mail td, aku tekan button reply. Ok.. Aku tarik nafas dlm² then start menaip. Ye, aku nk reply msg td.

"Salam..

Thnks utk mail yg indah tu.

Tp saye hairan la,knape saye kne delete pix saye sndrik ye?

Sedangkn saye rase awak yg curi pix saye?

Mknenye saye ley gunekn akta td keatas awak la kn?

Cik.. Cube pk baik² atas ape yg awak anta kt saye tu.."

*lebey kurang cmthu la. Aku pn da xbpe igt. Sent item pn da tadhe*

Sopan bukan? Ye.. Sengaja aku jwb dgn nada yg sopan ala² menawan gitu. Haha. Wtpe nk mrh ke hape en? Bia die sndrik la sedar. *kalau die mau sedar lah! hihuhihu~*. Sudah lah pix ku diambil,malah di peras ugut gune AKTA pule. Kau belajar undang² kah? Skola kau ada ajar ithu kah? Lalala~

Ok.. Later on lame gk la aku x on9. Then 1 hari tibe² je rase nk bkk. Ok,ade comment comel dan sungguh indah dari seorg jejaka. Hahaha! 29th Jun 2009. Agaknye sbb die nmpk aku on9 kot. Bunyinye begini..

"salam Fakers!!!

nk tnye...btl ke ney sume pic k0??

k0 xyah nk mnipu la r...

aq taw mne k0 amek sume pix ney...

kt awek c0mel an??

*kau mksudkn pix aku juga kah? haha!*

mgkin k0 bleyh tpu sume 0wg...tp jgn arap r k0 nk tpu aq...

n law btl pic ney pix k0...

asl private???

*sbb kau punye kwn sudah amik pix aku la bai!*

lu bia btl r bai...

xyah r nk mnipu...

dlete sume pic 2 fakers!!!"

Hahahaha..

*sile ketawe bersma aku. dgn nada yg girang gembira ye! yeah! yeah!*

Ok! Tibe² de dua org serang aku. hahaha. Tapi cube lihat dgn teliti dan khusyuk. ayat kedua dua insan yg menarek ini spt same shje kn? Adekah mereka org yg sama? Haha. Kids nowadays.. Aku bru pasan hari ni mnde ni. Mse aku tgh rajen menaip utk salin smule ayat² indah mreka. Then aku pn da xigt pe yg aku reply kt die. But lebey kurang kepade gadis 'manis bergaya' ithu jgk la. Cume aku ade gk nmpk sorg lagi kwn die gune pix org len juge. Awek bliaw brgkali. *ade aku kisah kah? lalala~*. Disebabkn ithu de tmbahan msg sket la.. aku tmbah kt die..

"kwn awk yg sorg lagi tu pn same je saye tgk. amek pix girl lain jugak.. fikir²kn lah ye.."

Ithu budak pn reply mase tu jugak..

"actually u r a nice fwen 2 me...

*aku pnah kwn dgn kau kah?*

awk bek...

*cmne kau tahu?*

but...i think...

thts n0t ur pic rite??

*ithu pix aku la!! argh!!*

kwn sy yg ane 1?"

*awek kau tu la!*

See? See that kwn²?? He used 'sy'! 'saya' hokeyh.. tadik die gune ape? 'Aku' kn? Hahaha.. Budi bahasa budaya kita. Kn aku dh ckp td.. Tak perlu mlenting la. Ok²..

"kwn awk or awek ke hape la..

she's using other people's pic jugak..

saye tahu mane die amek pix² tu suma.

sile klik link kt bwh then btahu saye sape faker yg sbnarnye.."

Aku pn bagi la link:

http://www.multiply.*******.com/

Yeah! link budak yg diorg curik gmbo tu jugak. Agaknye die dh bkk kowt. The next day die reply kt aku..

"sowie la ek...

itu mmg bkn pic awek sy pn...

*aku taw dri awal lagi dh..*

sy knal awek sy kt tucen...

*kucing ke hape ni? sbot la leklok 'tuition! Nyampah aku.*

Sy mntk maaf r...

*taw tape!*

akak nk jd akak agkt sy x?

*sape akak kau?*

sy xde akak.."

*so what?*

Hahahahahahha!! Tlg gelak lebih bersopan kali ini! Tlg pukol kpale aku krn aku t'sgt la __________[isi tmpat kosong.] lepas bace msg ni. Die pgl aku 'akak' right?? Now he admit? for god sake, aku tersgt la suka hati m'bce ithu msg. Hahaha! Sblom tu aku jgk btawu kak Qiez n die kate die akan berlakon sbgai peguam aku utk fight diorg yg pandai² sgt ttg AKTA ithu.

*kononnye dgn nada 'see u in court!' kowt. Haha! thnx kak.*

At the same date,29 Jun 2009, pompuan yg mula² msg aku td reply.

"hye...

c0ey erk c0z sye amik pixx awk...

*mamat tadi sudah report pd kau kah?*

i'm really s0rry ab0ut tht...

*tawu tape!*

i kn0w i'm wr0ng n i relly s0rry ea...

*english kau kne perbaiki spelling. ahaha!*

sye hrp awk x smpn dndm or anything lar...

*buang mse aku je dendam kt kau yg aku xknal!*

thnx k...

wslm..."

*pndai pule kau bagi salam. bagus.*

See that again?? Ergh!! syok je rase.. lallaa~

Aku reply pe tah lagi.. tp mcm konon² nye aku ckp kt die yg aku dh maafkn die. then ckp kt die lagi supaye jgn ulang mende yg same. aku soh die blaja leklok. tu je. n aku soh die delete suma pix² aku yg die dh TERAMBIL dri page aku. then korg tahu die reply ape kt aku??

"thnx ea kk fza...

kk fza, kk******* ad mys x?

*kau nk pegi serang die pulak ke pasni?? chilake! aku bru saje ckp jgn ulang! s**l! Argh!!*

hehe...

ermmm...

tau x mne nk dpt byk2 pixx yg silent 2?

my b kk fza tau...

*kau igt aku mcm kau kah?*

share la cket erk...

*haha. hotak kau!*

hehe...

pixx yg sruh snyp 2...

hope kk fza share ea...

*kau ni knape??*

or kk fza ad knl mne2 bdk yg cun n bkn kt mys..."

*ok,yg ni mmg taley bla. Susah sgt ke kau nk faham prasaan aku ni?? Pnat je aku maafkn kau!*

Aku pkirkn die sudah sedar. Rupenye nk g kne kn pompuan lain plak. Argh!!! Tensen aku. Nyesal lak aku ckp aku maafkn die. S**t! Huh! Ok sabar Fza.. Kau bkn cmni.. Sabar²..

*ok ok. Fuh! Fuh!*

Cube kalau kne kat korg tgk? Aku bkn pe.. mls nk cite mule² td coz byk org da kne bnde ni. ni just nk share cite awalan supaye korg taw pe poin aku sbnarnye. Ini adelah krn..

De sorg budak ni. Die anta komen kt aku pe tah. 'hye' kot. Aku tgk pix die nice. Bru je bajet nk g komen pix die tu. Then bkk la pix die suma. Bile nk komen, aku skroll la dulu ke bawah. tgk komen² org len dulu n guess what???? aku nmpk slh sorg tukang komen tu. Pix aku MASEH DIGUNEKAN. n kali ini oleh awek si mamat td. Ciap die tarok nama die kt muka aku tu. *seperti dlm ithu pix muka kau lah kn?*.

Ergh! Aku pikir kau sudah sedar. Rupe²nye.. Bkn ithu saje,skali pix budak yg aku knal tu pn die jaja punye lah byk sbagai pix die. WOW! Hebat kau! Ape² hal, aku mls nk amik port. kau jwb sndrik la ye dosa kau nnt. Mls nk lyn.

Tapi aku ade bkk page die. Pix suma private for frens je. Aku mls nk add kau. Tp de 1 mende wat aku ketawa gile² bile bkk page die. Korg maw taw? Ni aku copy dri page die. Ciap crop dh pn. Mls nk reveal link.

OK? Korg pn nk gelak? Silekan..

Dah terang² sbb knape aku tak perlu nk gado². Bkn nk ckp besar atau ape. Stakat umor aku yg 20thun ni tadhe la nk kate dewasa sgt. Remaja lagi tp zaman aku umor cmthu da 4thun berlalu. i'm growing up now. Tadhe mase nk gado² or melenting xtntu pasal. Cube bace kembali bende diatas. Gedik kah die? Syok sndrik kah? Korg yg bace ley dcide sndri. Aku dah mls.

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Nota tmbahan aku:

Mereka suma sebaya.

Gurl yg 1st td tu bdk skola agama. Dh terang² die reveal kt page die. aku pnah bace.

Lalala~

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Nota b'kaki ayam:

Cube korg lihat kembali jumlah titik noktah yg ade pd budak² berdua td. Sama bkn?

Cube kau lihat pule huruf 'O' yg mereka guna. Due² gune nomor '0' bkn? Fikir²knlah.. Hahaha!!

Maaf aku tercharot dgn sopan beberape kali diatas tadi. hihahiha~

Saat yg paling dinantikn!

Jam sekarang? 2:35am. Maseh belum nantok lagi. Rase mcm suda lame tidak updet ini blog. Hurmm.. Maw mrapu apekah ini mlm ea? *think. think. think harder!*. Grr..

Ok!

Satu hari semasa saye jln² kt kandang kambing,tibe² je nmpk seekor ayam sedang mkn...

*err.. Wattaheck??*

Ok! Ok!

*sile pukul saye dgn kuat!*

Saye sgt blur.. Sile tolong saye.. T_T"

p/s: Harap tajuk je cmbest. Ceyh!

Who u should really be?

Is it so hard to be who u really should be?

Think again. To be honest, if someone ask me that question, i would probably answer yes! Because yeah, it is really hard! Nobody can ONLY be one same person all the time. Reason? I bet nobody is perfect - n u knew it too aite? Think about it. Do you really know who u should really be? I, myself do not have any idea who i should really be. I will always try to adapt myself according to places and situations i am at. I mean.. It happens naturally right? Time is passing by and everybody keep changing. Some people say

"Euww.. She's trying to be someone else now. She was not like that back then when we were in high school.."

People!! Can't u think? School's life are totally different than university's life. The same goes when people grow up and become an adult. Where then it requires them to deal with their works' life! Common and simple thing yet hard to be understood by some people. Come on, u keep changing too!

*this is for those who pretend like they do not u'stand the norms*

What's most important here is, we are enjoying ourselves - doing what we love and adore so much. As long as it does not annoys and distract others, i think that would be fine.

I'm not typing these for any reason at this particular time. They just suddenly came across my mind and i feel like jotting them up in here. :)

Think about it.

Forgiven.

Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Oh, time has passed you by

Ooh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world
Ooh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am left in silence

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven

I watched the clouds drifting away
Still the sun can't warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong
You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away


I've been so lost since you've gone
Why not me before you
Why did fate deceive me?
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence?
.....

p/s: nantok ney.. huuu.. zZz..

When it is time to let it go..

Sebelum bace ini entry,sile bace entry dibawahnye. thanks.

1st thing first aku nk tanye.. Korg pnah x rase mcm sesuatu action yg korg pnah buat tu buat korg rase cm

"Modohnye aku! Knape aku wat cmthu?"

Pnah x? Rasenye most people pnah rase kowt. Mlm semlm aku figure out sesuatu. Hurm..

Btol ke frasa:

"Bile kite sygkn seseorg, biakan die hidup bebas. Lepaskn die kalo ithu yg terbaik.."

Btol ke mcm tu? Aku btol² xphm nape. Ye la kn.. kalo dh kite syg gile, nape nk lepaskn? Btol en? But yeah.. Ithu sangkaan aku dulu. Mase zaman skola². Zaman² dinosour dulu. Huu.. Skg ni aku dh mule byk berfikir. Bak kate kak Qiez - critical thinking. Uhuu~

Semalam ade seseorang call aku. It was around pkol 0123. Someone la. Kitorg had some conversation n die cite la cmne life die skang ni - without me mcm dulu. Bgun pagi² die tros g joging, then g cari xtvt nk dibuat. Yela,utk elakkan bosan melanda diri. *ye la kowt. hihuhihu~*. Nk dipendekkan cerita, life die suda ok skg ni sbb die da suda mule biasekn diri. *amik mase yg agak pnjg utk seswaikan diri. Bru skg aku tawu.*. Lepas tu, die cite la xtvt² chuti die kali ni smpaikn die taley nk balik umah awal. 25 Dec bru die blik umah die - dekat somewhere la. And aku pn just redha je la sbb slalunye cuti sem kitorg akn lepak for 1 whole day kt somewhere. Just lepak as friends coz dh lame xjumpe. Cuti sem ni 1st time la die x tron tempat aku coz die de hal kt kampus die - jarak yg menyebabknnye. Ok.

So ape isu yg ku rase modoh ithu? Ye, isu dimane aku mengalami kecelaruan yg agak kritikal di satu masa dahulu lalu aku pn berlalu pergi dri hidup bliaw. Bkn berlalu cmne pn. aku maseh ade,cume keadaan dh berubah. *sile phm sndri. Lalala~* Poin utama skg, aku rase bersalah sgt² kpd bliaw sbb aku xmampu nk spend mase yg byk utk bliaw disebabkn aku t'sgt sibuk mse tu. Ouh yes,SANGAT! Die sgt la memahami smpaikn aku sndri plak yg rse cm _____..*tatawu nk isi ape ditempat kosong ini*

Mase berlalu mcm biase tp die ssh sgt nk adapt dgn keadaan. Hari² die call mcm biase. but then sembang psl life - hal² biase sajelah,xmcm zaman² dinosour dulu mse masing² de 'commitment'. Aku pn mcm biase je lah. Aku aggp die mgkin ok dgn keadaan cmthu. but then die pnah ckp die still rase cm dulu. Cumenye, die pn phm keadaan aku. Aku rase lain tanpe die beberape hari selepas tu. Tapi lepas semlm, mse die call aku, buat pertame kalinye die btawu aku yg die dh mule biasekn diri - setelah beberape bulan. agak lama jugak la sebenarnye perkara tu t'jadik. Die cite hal² harian die dgn keadaan yg agak hepi. Aku tumpang senyum. Dlm penyesalan aku buat cmthu sblom ni, aku mule rase aku btol² patut lepaskn die secara mental - dlm otak la mksudnye. Secara rohani yg sebetulnye sbb sblom ni just scare fizikal saje. Mulut je ckp cmthu, hati ckp lain. Aku kalo da syg, mmg aku syg spnoh hati. *demn. tu la masalah aku sejak dulu*. Ok tape. Let's proceed.

Bile die ckp dgn nada yg hepi cmthu, rancak sgt cite ttg ape yg die bakal buat cuti ni n mase² yg die spend dgn kwn² die kt kampus die, aku just senyum je. *ofcoz la die xnmpk en?*. Air mate aku tibe² menitik. *hish! part nyampah ni dh smpai da. Huh!*. Ouh yes, aku xsedar pn perkara tu berlaku. Lame jugak aku pk benda tu.

Then aku tanye:

"Pasni kalo kite bwk haluan masing² pn *** xkisah kn?".

[Dgn niat aku yg just nk bergurau je..]

Die jwb:

"Fza,kalo jumpa yg sesuai just go for it. Fza xt'ikat dgn ***. Fza bebas. And *** tawu rmai lagi yg leh gnti ***. N jgn nangis lama²,nnt bengkak mata kamu.."

[dgn yakinnye..]

Ouh tuhan. Knape die ckp cmthu? *tlg tanyekn die ley x? Wuu~*. Lame gk aku pk mlm td. Then lastly baru aku dpt jwpn yg nk aku nk. Ye, aku dh mule agree dgn pernyataan kt atas td. Mgkin die lagi bahgia skg, jadik aku pn patut tumpang bahgia die. Bkn ke ni yg aku nk dri awal?*no,bkn ini. Aku yg tlalu celaru mase tu.*

Aku de gk cube beberape lagi relationship slepas tu. But then mgkin aku hold too tight kowt. So mereka 'lari'.

*haha. Sape soh aku yg ngokngek! Dh la kurang siuman. Huu~*.

Yg sbnarnye, aku takut benda yg same berulang, tp still. Jadi gk. Mungkin sbb aku mcm tlalu ____________

*ape nk isi ni? Hold tight sgt la maybe. Mcm tu la kowt.*

Papehal pn,ye aku sudah sedar. Kite xsemestinye memiliki semua benda. When it is time to let it go, just let it go. Walopn benda tu dh blaku agak lama, tapi bru skg aku sedar mksud disebalik tu. Mgkin pasni tuhan ade plan yg lebih baik utk die. Utk aku juge. Thnx Allah. =)

Skang? Aku dh mampu tersenyum. Aku rase sgt fresh. Rase mcm org yg bru. Yg lebih bersemangat utk hidup. Lebih gembira utk lihat kebahgiaan org lain. Inilah bru dikatekn idop!*lega*

Nota berkaki ayam:

Fza tawu ade beberape org yg agak mengenali Fza sedang m'bace entry ni. Thnx sbb bace. Etliz anda tahu ape berlaku dlm idop Fza sbnarnye. Idop ni xsemestinye sempurna. Bile kite wat slh,kite akan cube perbaiki supaya kita jadi manusia yg lebih baik dri sebelumnye. Ithu la sbnarnye hikmah disebalik semua yg dh jadi. =)

Crime partner, bkk sem ni byk benda aku nk cite kt ko yeah!

*Sile dgr nnt. Aku sedang memaksa. Sile phm. Sekian. Huhu..*

Currently listening to:

Within Temptation - What Have You Done.